You’re Worth the Time


Why should I take time for coaching?

Life is busy. I get it.

Yet you long for connection. You ache to be understood. You want to be wanted. The busy-ness of life is partially there to protect you from your own longing and keep you from getting hurt.

There’s another way.

Rewire your experience of vulnerability feeling it as warm and connecting rather than harsh and injurious.

Somatic sex coaching, cuddling,  shame and vulnerability through the pioneering framework of Brene Brown. and compassionate mindfulness, coupled with parts work allows these parts of ourselves that try so hard – the Critic, the Perfectionist, the Practitioner, the Healer – to be welcomed just as they are and listened to. Spontaneous self-correction arises. Our coaching bring a richness and depth to the listening as you are deeply heard and witnessed.

Early Bird Ends November 1


My rates are going up November 1. If you’d like one on one or couples coaching, act now.


What does Harry Potter have to do with criticism and connection?


A lot, as it turns out. Death Eaters, the supporters of the ultimate bad guy, are uncomfortably like our own inner cast of critical players. The Inner Critic, the Perfectionist, the Numbing Addict, the voice of Never Enough, Shame, and Blame are scary and live in each of us.


In my coaching and workshops, I say “Hey, let’s go interact with these guys. We’ll get more freedom and it will even be fun. Sure we’ll cry and get scared and feel hopeless sometimes, but trust me it’s great!”

I can see why you’d be skeptical. Engaging with Death Eaters flies in the face of everything you’ve been taught about how to be safe. This is especially true if you’ve tried it before and gotten hurt. You’re reluctant to try again.


And yet I still say.  It is fun. It does give you more freedom. You need strong support and that’s where I come in. You can do it. We can do it together. More freedom, more fun, more joy. It can be yours.

But don’t take my word for it.  Come experience it yourself. 

Harry Potter is a creation of J.K. Rowlings. Images above are from the movie trailer for  “Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows”. I have no rights to any of the characters or images and give full credit to their creators. Thank you for bringing these ideas to life.

Have you ever wanted something so much you could taste it?


I feel like crying. I have been crying. There is a weight in my stomach that feels like I swallowed a lump of Playdough. I don’t really want to talk to anyone and yet I want comfort. Have you ever felt this way? I bet you have.

I have 4 people signed up for the workshop. They are an amazing four people. I am honored to work with them and we will do amazing things together. And yet today, I’m bummed that there aren’t more.

I really want more.

I’m good at coaching and guiding a class. I do all the things I say I do. So where is everyone?

And the kicker is that these four people are all people I know from my coaching work. They didn’t come through this newsletter or collaborating with anyone else to promote me to their clients and friends. All my promotional efforts seem to have had no effect whatsoever.

I hate being ineffective. That’s one of my biggest shame triggers.

Combine being ineffective (aka wasting time) with asking vulnerably for what I want and the fear that I’m not good enough and I won’t be able to make enough money doing this coaching work because if it was a viable job I would be making more money.

The mind loves certainty and telling stories. My mind today is casting around for a story that fits some of the data and my expectations.

If only four people sign up, does it mean:

  • The subject’s irrelevant and people just aren’t interested?
  • I don’t know enough about what to say or how to say it?
  • I shouldn’t have taken the summer off?
  • And the bottom line, if I try and fail, does it mean I’m not good enough?

These questions could lead to good information and course corrections if asked gently, with curiosity. But so often the story-making-questions come with a load of judgment, blame, and preconceived ideas of what’s “right”. Many times the first stories when we fail are painful. But the mind is a meaning maker and certainty trumps pleasure (or even truth) every time.



surrender 9-17-15

We Need Your Light


 Light Background

If you are feeling strongly drawn to working with me and finances are a challenge, reach out and book a free consultation anyway. Money often brings up shame, scarcity, and fear. On this adventure, that makes it a teacher and a place to explore.  Don’t let this great teacher fool you into thinking it’s an insurmountable obstacle. No one who’s truly wanted to adventure with me has had to stop due to lack of funds. We can find a way for you to do it, too.


You need your light. To have a life you are passionate about, enlivened by, and excited to live you need your light.


Humanity and non-human life on this planet need your light. We need you to know and own your own power.


To have a life you are passionate about, excited to live, and enlivened by you need every part of you. There is nothing within you that is bad or superfluous. Indeed, some of the parts you like the least are holding some of the gifts you need the most. Coaching with me supports you in creating the inner harmony necessary to harness these gifts. You’ll be more productive, calm, clear, and decisive. And you’ll have a lot more fun. Guaranteed. Or your money back.

Rumi’s “Guest House”


rumi guest house

The Guest House is a touchstone of our work at Year of Joys. Who wants to encounter a crowd of sorrows who sweep your house clean of all its furnishings?

We do.

It’s never fun to be in the midst of the sweeping, it’s not easy to be in the change or the storm, but it’s lovely to be on the other side. It’s lovely to feel the trust and ease you experience after going through your own shadow, welcoming in your own shame and scarcity, noticing that you too are the bully and the critic as well as the savior and the victim.

Welcoming in all that is within you allows you to welcome in all that is outside of you. This does not make you a passive doormat, numb to the troubles of the world and turning a blind eye to your own shortcomings. On the contrary, it frees you to be the dynamic author of your own life, working with all of your talents and parts to create at your full potential.

Come in and play with us.


Doors Open September 22

Register for Shame, Vulnerability, Scarcity and Joy: Relationships

Register for Shame, Vulnerability, Scarcity and Joy: Relationships

Sometimes you hear a voice through the door
calling you, as fish out of water
hear the waves, or a hunting falcon
hears the drum’s.
Come back. Come back.
This turning toward what you deeply love
saves you. Read the book of your life,
which has been given you.
A voice comes to your soul saying,
Lift your foot. Cross over.
Move into emptiness
of question and answer and question.

We all yearn for compassion and connection


My heart speaks

with a yearning to be heard,

a longing to be shared, and

a desire for connection.

Almost before I draw my next breath

I feel the fear of being rejected

Register for the call here.

Would you like more freedom and joy? Join us Friday July 10 for a live group coaching call.

the conviction that no one else want to bother,

the fear that my love is a burden

rather than a gift.

Love and fear,

desire and aversion,

connection and independence –

the parts within me pull in opposite directions.

Compassion big enough to hold them all arises

a soothing balm, a safe sanctuary

for all the parts of me to be seen,



No need to change, fix, or figure them out.

Nothing to change or fix or figure out.

Nothing is wrong.

All is welcome.

Healing arises out of spontaneous self-correction.


Join us Friday July 10 for an open, live, spontaneous and welcoming group coaching call.

$17. Register here.

Or send me an email, if you prefer. kassandra@yearofjoys.com

Passion, Courage, Connection, and Love – Gift Certificate Giveaway


What gift certificate do you want? I want to know and I want to have some fun doing it.

Would you like more passion, connection, and courage?

I want to know who’s answering “Yes!” So let’s have a giveaway!

5 gift certificates for “Messy Joy” coaching will be given away Sunday night at 5pm Pacific.

How do you enter?

Earn entries for the “Messy Joy” Gift Certificate giveaway by:

+ Commenting on the gift certificate picture either below or on FB photos to tell me your #1 choice
+ Sharing the giveaway on your FB timeline
+ Tweeting your excitement
+ Signing up for YoJ updates (my mailing list)
+ Inviting 10 or more friends to like Year of Joys (send me a screen shot of the invitations)
+ Suggesting another idea for how people can earn entries

Drawing will be held Sunday night at 8pm Eastern.

Any questions? Just ask.

Good luck!